Quitting & Counter Offers: Why Saying “No” is Often the Smartest Move

I have had the privilege of helping well over 100 individuals make changes in their careers. One of the trickiest moments in any resignation is when a counteroffer hits the table. It's flattering. It creates doubt. And more often than not, it leads to regret.

If you’re navigating this right now — or coaching a team member through it — here’s why it’s worth thinking twice before accepting.

Why Companies Make Counter Offers

First, understand the driver. Counter offers are about protecting business continuity, not necessarily about you, though they can be.

When you resign, your employer may scramble to retain you — but this is often about avoiding disruption. Projects in flight. Open headcount. Politics. Optics.

It’s rare that a counteroffer signals a new long-term career plan or deeper investment in your growth as. an individual.

The Risks of Accepting

Candidates who stay after accepting a counteroffer often find (not always, but these are worth considering):

  • Trust is slightly or largely fractured. You’re now seen (fairly or unfairly) as someone with one foot out the door.

  • Growth is still limited. Raises or promises made in the heat of the moment may not address why you wanted to leave in the first place.

  • The core culture doesn’t change. If leadership, vision, or team dynamics were driving your decision, those factors don’t resolve overnight.

  • You may become a retention risk on paper — and first in line if future cuts come.

It’s best at this stage to just try and recall the reasons that brought you to interview with this new company in the first place... It’s this counteroffer really going to solve those problems…and if it’s only money, then we know it’s not worth taking because of the list above.

The Data Is Clear

Studies show that over 60-80% of employees who accept counteroffers leave within 6-12 months, either voluntarily or involuntarily.

Once trust and alignment are broken, it’s challenging to fully repair them.

The Better Path: Honor Your Move

If you’ve done the work to accept a new role, it’s been a race, and this is the finish line…honor that decision.

  • Exit professionally and with grace.

  • Stay focused on your career goals, not short-term comfort.

  • Use this as a launch, not a retreat.

You deserve an employer who sees your worth before they have to fight to keep you (and hopefully that is the change you are making right now).

For Hiring Managers

Counteroffers are part of the game. Great hiring leaders stay proactive:

  • Build strong communication from the offer to the start date.

  • Anticipate counteroffers and help candidates process them rationally.

  • Stay present through the notice period — your engagement matters.

Final Thought

Careers move forward when you move forward. Accepting a counteroffer often keeps you stuck in old patterns, not growing into new ones.

If you’re facing this crossroads, be clear-eyed about what’s really being offered — and where you truly want to be six months from now.

Sample Resignation Letter

[Date]

Dear [Manager’s Name],

I’m writing to formally resign from my role at [Company Name].

This was not an easy decision — I’ve truly valued my time here, the relationships I’ve built, and all I’ve learned. After much reflection, I’ve accepted a new opportunity that aligns with my long-term goals and the next chapter I want to create.

I’m committed to supporting a smooth transition in any way I can in the coming weeks. Thank you again for the opportunities and trust you’ve given me. I wish the team nothing but continued success.

Warmly,
[Your Name]

Resignation Conversation Prep — Outline

Opening the Conversation

  • Ask for a private moment (ideally schedule it — don’t do it as a “drive-by” in passing).

  • Lead with gratitude:
    “First, I want to thank you for everything I’ve learned here and the opportunities I’ve had...”

Stating the Decision Clearly

  • Be direct but warm — avoid long justifications or mixed signals:
    “After a lot of reflection, I’ve made the decision to accept another opportunity and will be moving on from [Company Name].”

Manage Tone

  • Calm, warm, professional — not apologetic, not defensive, not over-explaining.

  • Remember: You’re not asking for permission. You’re informing with care and professionalism.

Prepare for Reactions

  • If they express disappointment, acknowledge it empathetically.
    “I understand this isn’t easy news to receive. I care about the team and want to support a smooth transition.”

  • If they ask why you’re leaving:

    • Keep it positive and forward-focused: “This new role aligns with where I want to grow next.”

    • Avoid airing grievances or burning bridges in the moment.

  • If they bring up a counteroffer:

    • Stay grounded: “I appreciate that, but I’ve made this decision after careful thought and am committed to this move.”

Offer Transition Support

  • Proactively offer to help during your notice period.
    “I’ll do everything I can to ensure a seamless transition — happy to document processes, train, or support wherever needed.”

Close with Grace

  • Reinforce gratitude and well-wishes.
    “I’ve truly appreciated being part of this team. Thank you again for everything, and I wish you and the company continued success.”

-Gabriel Johnson
Owner, Artisan Recruiting